Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday's blog is a little late!!!

I went to a Partylite Candle Party last night at a woman's house that I had never met. She and some of the other attendees are members of a "playdates group" that I've joined in the area. I'm not big on attending these types of "parties", where I feel obligated to buy something that is really overpriced that I probably don't even need, but my sole purpose of going was to meet some of these woman in my group. To get out of the house without the baby, maybe have a drink or two, and engage in some like-minded female chit-chat on a Friday night.

It always amazes me that some of the first information a mother will share with you is how she gave birth to her child - I mean, you'd think we'd leave the gory stuff for friends and family only, not complete strangers. But no, we dive right in, sparing no one all the graphic details, as if having vaginas and birthing children are all that we would have in common to talk about!

So, we're standing in the kitchen in a semi circle of about 5 of us, just chit-chatting, when I look down and realize my fly is open. Not because I forgot to pull it up after my last bathroom break, but because it's an older pair of jeans and the fly now has a mind of its own. I was mortified of course and wondered just how many of them had noticed and been too embarrassed to say something. I pulled my shirt down as far as it would go to hide it and had to wait another agonizing five minutes before we progressed into the other room and I could fix the problem. I almost laughed out loud later though when another mom was bent over her catalogue, thong halfway up her back, and realized that I'm not alone.

So, I've come to the conclusion that the older you get, the harder it is to make new friends. And I'm talking "good" friends, "true" friends, someone you really have a bond with. I haven't made any "true" friends since I became a mom (and it's not for lack of trying).

And it's not that I'm lacking friends, but I am lacking friends who live near me that also have babies or young children and are stay at home moms! This lack of friends has brought me to the internet in search of other moms in the area. But it hasn't been an easy road...I've met plenty of really nice women, but no one that I really have much in common with (save being a mom) or would choose to hang out with (if our babies weren't the same age). I've also met a few drama queens (which I haven't seen the likes of since highschool) that are all about gossip, and judging, and just despicable behavior that I am way too old for.

It's disappointing really. Being a stay-at-home mom can be very lonely, which is why I immersed myself into playdates and meeting new people shortly after Addie was born. Ten and a half months old, and still not a "true" friend to speak of. But I continue to join new groups and get out of the house as much as possible in the hopes that I might one day make at least one good friend, cuz honestly, that's all I need!


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